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Sleep Resister Screen
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Join the Sleep Resistance
Complete the following assessment so we may evaluate your current nap-risk level.
Basic Information
Name
Sleep Resistance Questionnaire
How many cups of coffee do you believe a human can safely consume?
1–2 (cowardly)
3–5 (acceptable)
6–8 (commendable)
9+ (you are one of us)
How often do you accidentally fall asleep in public?
Never
Sometimes
Frequently
Constantly
Your stance on naps:
Naps are a moral failing
Naps are suspicious
I take naps but feel shame
I nap proudly (traitor)
Preferred anti-sleep technique:
Raw determination
Caffeine concentration ritual
Tax law podcast
Adrenaline panic
How fast can you recite the alphabet backward?
I cannot
Slowly
Quickly
Lightning speed
How afraid are you of falling asleep right now?
1 — I feel safe
5 — uncertain
8 — deeply concerned
10 — my eyes are betraying me
If a nap tried to fight you, would you win?
Yes
No
Depends on the nap’s reach
Legal counsel required
Submit and Stay Awake