Once at the beginning of time, God was missing for six days.
Eventually, Michael the archangel found him, resting on the seventh day.
He inquired of God, "Where have you been?"
God sighed a deep sigh of satisfaction and proudly pointed downwards
through the clouds, "Look Michael, look what I've made." Archangel Michael
looked puzzled and said, "What is it?" "It's a planet," replied God, "and
I've put LIFE on it. I'm going to call it Earth and it's going to be a
great place of balance."
"Balance?" inquired Michael, still confused. God explained, pointing to different parts of Earth, "For example, Northern Europe will be a place of great opportunity and wealth while Southern Europe is going to be poor; the Middle East over there will be a hot spot, Scandinavia will be stable. Over there I've placed a continent of white people and over there is a continent of black people," God continued, pointing to different countries. "This one will be extremely hot and arid while this one will be very cold and covered in ice."
The Archangel, impressed by God's work, then pointed to a large land mass and asked, "What's that one?". "Maine, the most glorious place on Earth. There are beautiful lakes, rivers, streams; lofty granite hills and high mountains. The people from Maine are modest, intelligent, humorous and hardworking. They are sociable, hardworking and high-achieving. They are known throughout the world as diplomats and carriers of peace. They are admired and respected by all."
Michael gasped in wonder and admiration but then proclaimed, "but what about balance, you said there would be BALANCE!" God replied wisely, "Wait until you see the loudmouth, whiny, arrogant jerks I'm putting next to them in Massachusetts.